Exploring Our World Differently Voices - TracY Peterson
Voices
Autism-Like Characteristics: Pre-Diagnosis & Early Acceptance of this thing called Autism
By Tracy Peterson | october 20, 2024
Revised August 4, 2026
It has been many years since the phrase Exploring Our World Differently (EOWD) entered my mind, first as our family mantra, and many years later as a concept for this developing website. I couldn't tell you how many times I started and stopped this journey with you as I cautiously navigated how exactly to share our experiences authentically --- while also protecting our privacy, safety, and dignity as a family. I will tell you --- it is quite the balancing act!
While I will share some of our family experiences, my intention is not to focus specifically on my son, Timothy, but to be a multi-faceted resource for others on a similar journey. But before that can happen, it is only fair that you learn a bit of our background.
We knew there was something different about Timothy very early on. Even as an infant he was either silent or screaming. He seemed to dislike being touched or held, but could not get enough of his baby swing. He was escaping his crib and baby gates before he could walk and somehow seemed to go from crawl to run.
Before age two, he had mastered the ability of climbing, turning on the faucets and stove, unlocking doors, and getting out of his car seat. Taking him anywhere was a risk because he was smart, strong, and very fast. To this day I believe his favorite game was "hide and make frantic mommy seek." And, while he did not enjoy baths he loved water and danger had a knack for finding it.
Our pediatrician seemed to dismiss all of our well-voiced concerns until Timothy was nearly three years old --- until out of nowhere, when I was bordering on acceptance of "this is just the way it is," she said "I think we need to have him tested."
I will never forget the anger and frustration I felt in that moment. For over two years I shared all of my concerns only to be told he was "fine," that "his big brother was talking for him," that I "should be proud he is so advanced." We were getting ready for a big move across country. Her timing couldn't have been less perfect.
Just before our move, my aunt had come over for a visit. After just a few minutes of witnessing Timothy's behavior, she stated, "maybe he has autism." I had never heard of autism before, and Timothy wouldn't let me sit long enough for a conversation about it, but for a brief moment, I felt different. Was this hope?
After we settled in from our move, I learned of a place to have my child tested. We were scheduled for an "observation" where he would be in a preschool-like setting with other children. They day came and it was the first time, despite all the struggles until that moment, that I felt like I had to be the worst mother on the planet. While all the other children were playing happily at the tables with blocks, puzzles, finger paints, and Mr. Potato Heads, mine couldn't keep still. He hit at any other child that came near him, dropped and kicked, and wriggled out of my arms every time I picked him up to redirect.
I watched in despair as the other parents so easily navigated their child from one station to the next, and felt the heavy weight of judgement on my shoulders and heart. All the worst fears crossed my mind, the greatest being that they would take my child from me. I was screaming inside, tears flowing on the outside. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see the warmth of a smiling face, as she said "everything would be okay."
A few days later, we were sitting at a large conference room table with a small team of professionals, awaiting the results of the observation. I felt incredibly small and nervous. At first, I heard lots of terminology that I was not yet familiar, and then came that word again, "autism." Well, more specifically "autism-like characteristics," as this was 1997, before a formal diagnosis could be provided before age six (at least in the state we lived). And, this time I had someone else tending to my child, allowing me the time to ask questions, learn, and process.
Acceptance wasn't something I needed to think about or work through. It was instantaneous. While many, understandably, feel a slew of emotions including fear and grief, when they learn their child has autism, I found relief. Maybe selfishly. For the first time since my child could crawl, I felt empowered. There was a name for this thing. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't a bad parent, he wasn't a bad kid. Sure we had a long road ahead, but suddenly I felt with everything in me, my kid is and will be okay. We, will be okay!
The last thirty (and counting) years have been quite the journey, and we have certainly had our share of ups and downs. I will not pretend our life has been easy. It hasn't. Each day brings new challenges, learning, creativity, and perspectives that allows us to stretch and grow. It is through this growth that we continue to gain, reflect, appreciate, and even celebrate ---sometimes the littlest things that most take for granted.
Autism shapes our lives...It does not define it. Is is a part of who we are. Timothy may be the one diagnosed with autism, but as far as I am concerned, we are an autism family, it impacts all of us. We live outside of social norms. We get creative. We learn, we grow, we explore our world differently, and I cannot imagine life any other way.
Tracy Peterson - Neurodivergent, Autism Mama & Caregiver
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Tracy Peterson is the Founder and Creative Director of Exploring Our World Differently and EOWD Autism Living—two growing platforms shaped by her lived experience as the parent and lifelong caregiver of an adult nonverbal person on the autism spectrum. Through personal stories, trustworthy resources, thoughtfully selected products, affiliate recommendations, and future coaching support, Tracy is building an inclusive space where autistic and neurodivergent individuals, people with different abilities, families, and caregivers can feel seen, supported, understood, and less alone.
Citations & Resources
No Citations or Resources for this personal experience
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