Image Credit to NetworkSolutions.com Stock Photo
Translating Behavior into Meaning is Not Always an Easy Task
By Tracy Peterson | August 25, 2025
Imagine this: You go to throw something away and discover the remnants of what could only possibly be a dismantled keyboard in your trash. You immediately try to unravel where your special needs individual could have found an old keyboard in the house, let alone why they would break it into fragments of the shell and pop off all of the keys to the point that all that remained was a heap of plastic letters, numbers, and symbols.
After a moment, you shrug it off and file it away as one more odd thing, knowing you may never get an answer out of your nonverbal individual.
Then, a few days later, you discover more pieces of broken plastic and metal in your trash, keenly aware that this is not just an old keyboard, and realize it is time to do some investigating.Immediately, you begin your search to determine where all this metal and plastic is coming from, while what feels like a hundred questions at once emerge. What is my child doing? Is this aggression, attention-seeking, a different kind of meltdown, a message, or simply my child taking an action they felt necessary?
This scenario was one of the most recent experiences in our home. When I updated my laptop, Timothy inherited my old Dell. He had used this computer without issue for about two years until signs that it needed work began to arise, specifically with the screen imagery. As he adjusted to using a new tablet that he received months earlier, I was not in an immediate rush to repair or replace the old Dell, thinking a new laptop would make a perfect Christmas gift. And, because Timothy was still using the computer despite the low-quality graphics and his struggle with change, the old Dell sat on his desk, awaiting an eventual upgrade.
What we didn't realize was that the old Dell must have completely stopped working because Timothy would never have dismantled it otherwise. Except for a few Toy Story toys from his childhood that he modified in alignment with the movies (I'll share that story later), Timothy has never gone out of his way to break anything intentionally. It's just not who he is. In the case of Dell, there was a part of me that thought Timothy might have thought he could fix it. Or his curiosity about mechanics resurfaced (another story for a later time), and he wanted to know what was inside the computer. But as the days and weeks went by, I realized that Timothy was simply on a new mission. He was going to dismantle the nonworking computer bit by bit until there was nothing left. And, he did.
Over the weeks, I found more pieces of twisted metal and broken plastic in the trash. Eventually, I witnessed Timothy wearing his heavy-duty gloves to carry out the broken scraps, and then I would hear him vacuuming shortly after. I have to admit, I was proud. Not only was he taking safety measures to protect himself from getting hurt, but he was also cleaning up his mess. All on his own!
Finally, the day came when there was nothing but space where the old Dell once sat. I was more than surprised when Timothy went back to completing world puzzles. Word searches are an activity that I have not seen him do in quite some time.
Translating behavior into meaning is not always an easy task. While there are incidents where a little reflective hindsight can tell the whole story, and you can sit back with a sigh of enlightenment, a lot of the time, you might need to dig deeply to get to the root cause of any behavior. And this is not just regarding people on the autism spectrum. Even those with the best communication skills can sometimes be difficult to understand. It's naturally more difficult when you are communicating with an individual who has limited verbal communication skills.
Sometimes, behaviors are a result of overstimulation or underlying issues, and we need to put our detective hats on, starting with the simple questions we learned in grade school: who, what, when, where, how, and why. Who was involved? What changed? When did it happen? Where were we? How did it impact? Sometimes behaviors are simply an expression of themselves and their interests. In the case of my son and the laptop, knowing him, I believe the latter is true. Timothy decided that, since old Dell no longer worked, why not make a project out of it that met his curiosity and other sensory needs?
Will we get it right one hundred percent of the time? Probably not, and that's OKAY. And, it doesn't happen overnight. It's taken me over thirty years to know my son with the level of understanding we have, and to this day, I see a lot of it is guesswork. His smiles, parroting, and behavior tell me when I'm on the right track, while nonresponse or meltdowns tell me when I'm not.
The key is to keep observing and working towards a communication style that works for you to help you understand their needs and behaviors. Over time, you will learn to trust in the magic of the wordless dialogue and hone in on the meaning of their behaviors. And, before you know it, you will learn to appreciate, and sometimes even laugh about, some of your child's most unique and occasionally fascinating behaviors.
What behavior are trying to or recently learned to translate? Let us know by engaging with us on our Facebook Group
Tracy Peterson is a parent of an adult non-verbal person on the Autism Spectrum and the founder of Exploring Our World Differently. Tracy works diligently to create a holistic balance between a special needs home life, health, career, and spirituality. She has a B.A. in Environmental Studies, and her passions include avid reading, journaling, blogging, recruiting, nature, gardening, camping, and hiking. Read more from Tracy Peterson...
RESOURCES
No resources required for this post, as it is based on our personal experience and journey.