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Our Journey in Understanding and Accepting Differences Amongst the Autism Spectrum
By Tracy Peterson | September 26, 2025
Despite being a parent to a non-verbal person for over thirty years, we continue to learn. In our earlier life experience navigating my child's autism behaviors and needs, resources were just as challenging to find as it was to get through our average day.
Well-intentioned family members bombarded me with articles in desperation to find a cure. For the longest time, I refused to follow that route.
I wasn't seeking a cure. I understood and accepted very early that autism is not a disease. But we did need help and still do all these years later.
Timothy was three when he started his education at a special needs school for differently-abled kids. This school offered a support group, and I was eager to join. I looked forward to learning from and sharing tips with the other parents. Unfortunately, at the time, I quickly realized that I was already in a different place than the other parents. They were grieving the loss of what may never be. I didn't want to mourn. I was past that. For me, the mourning stopped the moment I learned that there was a name for his behavior. To this day, I do not know why a label provided so much relief, it just did.
By no means am I dismissing the need to process and mourn. An autism diagnosis can be a lot to absorb and accept. The overwhelming fears, questions, and decisions to be made are never easy and always unique. What works for one person or family may not work for another. For some, a support group will make a huge difference. And, the proper support can make all the difference. The problem was, and in some ways still remains, finding the right support at the right time.
For us, the support that we most needed was some guidance, creative ideas for navigating certain behaviors, and recommendations for accessing professionals with experience and patience. The right doctors, dentists, and the places and services that so many take for granted when I was deep in my efforts to find a safe place for kids like my son to be their authentic selves and work out all that energy. It was not until a couple years later that a family friend who worked for the town parks gave us the greatest gift ever: access to a fenced-in baseball field where Tim could safely run to his heart's content.
A few years after that, I found the most significant support from Tim's stepdad (Ted), the school system, and the incredible teachers, social workers, psychologists, and paraprofessionals who worked with my child, especially during his middle and high school years. To all those who helped us navigate his young adult years, your efforts made all the difference. You were and are AMAZING, and we will forever be grateful.
Please remember that at EOWD, we share our personal stories and experiences while respecting that others' experiences and needs may and will differ vastly.
One of the greatest frustrations that I personally continue to experience as a parent and caregiver to a differently-abled person on the autism spectrum is how non-inclusive some autism-related groups on social media can be. On the flip side, I also understand and respect their perspectives. We have to remember that every person impacted by Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the individual and supportive caregivers alike, are going to have vastly different abilities and experiences. Some individuals might have all the right tools and resources available to them. Some might be extremely "high-functioning". Some individuals might not be able to access the right tools and resources. Some might be (and I DO NOT care for this term) considered extremely "low-functioning", meaning they may need significant lifetime support. Others may fall right down the middle of it all. No matter where a person falls on the spectrum, what their needs or abilities are, it is called a "spectrum" for a reason, and it is vast. What makes it a spectrum are some commonalities in behaviors and characteristics.
No matter what your association with Autism may be, please remember that no two individuals are exactly alike, and so is true of those who are on the spectrum. As Dr. Stephen Shore so accurately stated (and I quote regularly), "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism."
My child is primarily nonverbal diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified, Intellectual Disability (ID), one of many categories that the spectrum includes. This does not mean he cannot communicate, he can, and does very well. We just need to take the time to listen in the means he is communicating. In his early years, Picture Exchange Communication Systems (PECS) were helpful. Over time, eye contact (which in itself sometimes feels like our own personal language), gesturing, minimal sign language, parroting, and yes-no questions became our most common forms of communicating.
What my son can speak most clearly and easily about are his food choices. If we eat out, he can clearly tell the server his most preferred order of "chicken tenders, french fries, Coke, barbeque sauce!" To this day we are unsure if that is what he really wants or if states it because it is easy or routine. When at home, we give him "this" or "that" choices which help in his independent decision-making and meal planning. You can really tell it is a tough decision if we give him a choice between his two favorite meals: Chicken Tenders or Pepperoni Pizza. His eyes light up, he smiles, but it may take an hour or more before he gives us an answer. Stay tuned for more on meals in a later post.
Here are some of the most common types of autism-related diagnoses that may fall under the vast umbrella of ASD:
- Asperger's Syndrome: Once considered a separate condition, Asperger's now falls under the ASD umbrella. People with Asperger's typically have average to above-average intelligence. They may excel in fields requiring focus and attention to detail. They may, however, struggle with social interactions and understanding nonverbal communication. Learn more
- Rett Syndrome: Is a rare genetic neurological disorder that mainly affects females. Symptoms generally appear after 6 to 18 months of typical development. They can include loss of purposeful hand use, slowed growth, and intellectual disability. Although no longer classified as an autism spectrum disorder, it shares some characteristics, like impaired social interaction. Learn more
- Childhood Disintegrative Disorder (CDD): This rare condition is a later onset of developmental delays, generally around ages three to four, after at least two years of normal development. Children with CDD experience significant losses in social, motor, language, and other skills, resembling typical developmental decline. Because of its rarity, this disorder presents unique challenges for diagnosis and treatment. Learn more
- Kanner's Syndrome: Also known as classic Autism, is identified by significant language delays, social and communication challenges, and unusual behaviors like repetitive actions. Individuals with Kanner's Syndrome often have difficulties with sensory processing. They may prefer to engage in activities that are more solitary than social. Learn more
- Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS): is an atypical diagnosis given to those on the autism spectrum who do not fit the full criteria for other specific disorders. The symptoms and severity levels in this category of ASD can vary greatly. They may include aspects of other autism diagnoses, such as social, sensory, and communication issues. An early diagnosis with a personalized, flexible plan may be crucial for those with PDD-NOS. Learn more
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
As a highly diverse ASD community, we are responsible for learning, appreciating, respecting, and accepting how our different experiences and beliefs can enhance or detract from our communities. There is no "one size fits all" solution, and what works au-somingly for one family may be harmful for another. While we often need to think outside the box and explore our worlds differently under this vast umbrella, remember that we are not alone. Lean into the experiences of others before you. Talk with your pediatrician, school counselors, access local and government programs. Trust your intuition and do what is right for your individual needs.
Awareness, support, and resources continue to grow and become accessible. Our story that began nearly three decades ago will be vastly different from those being introduced to autism today. As the ASD community continues to grow, take the time to make sure that the group and resources that you choose to learn and grow with aligns positively with your individual needs and goals. Do your homework. Fact check. And, never shy away from speaking up. There is no greater advocate for your loved one than you.
I would like to end this with the fact that I/EOWD also recognizes and respects that some speak loudly against Autism Speaks and ABA therapy. We acknowledge that it is not the right fit for everyone and ask those who may have had negative experiences to respect that many have had positive life-changing experiences through Autism Speaks. For further reading and resources, visit Autism Speaks and explore other resources to understand the controversy. Additionally, in a society where conspiracy theory and false information is abundant, please do your diligence and look for reputable, professional sources. You will find links for several reputable sources below.
What is your experience with autism spectrum disorder? Let us know by engaging with us on our Facebook Group
Tracy Peterson is a parent of an adult non-verbal person on the Autism Spectrum and the founder of Exploring Our World Differently. Tracy works diligently to create a holistic balance between a special needs home life, health, career, and spirituality. She has a B.A. in Environmental Studies, and her passions include avid reading, journaling, blogging, recruiting, nature, gardening, camping, and hiking. Read more from Tracy Peterson...
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